Believe me, I know (Private w/ Ishi)

Ishi.exe has in fact, stopped working. 'Not as bad as you claim to be' was something Ishi disagreed with. Sure, he was strong and by all means, he tried to be half-decent these days. Still; this lass didn't know nothing. He couldn't understand what she was talking about. She didn't get it. He murdered a copious amount of people. At least 5 that he wasn't a drug addled mess for. That was the guessed count. Even with his healing factor; the copious amount of damage done still had its effect. Usually on his memory.

It was just the way it be.

Well, as far as Ishi knew anyway. Though, it's been known that Ishi knew nothing so take that with a grain of salt. Really, one should just not take Ishi. That's if he were to be honest. If he weren't, he'd say he's perfect.

"That's a nice sentiment; but a good person would've saved 'em."

Valerie tucked her hands behind her head and smiled at him. "Hmmmm. You're dumb." She joked and laughed a bit. "I mean... What was that whole class for if not to understand that we can't save everyone? You're supposed to be the teacher, so maybe you should try to remember your own lesson old-timer."

She faced forward once more and dropped her hands to her side, her smile still wide and bright, but only to hide the fact that his words did weigh heavily on her shoulders. They resonated with herself strongly, and more than anything, she hated herself more and more for every failure. After all, Val came to Bellmuse to escape the deaths and make amends for all that she had done, and yet she still had blood on her hands that she couldn't make up for. If people were still going to die in her care, then what was the point of all of this in the first place?

"Regrets are just a part of life, Professor. It's not something we can escape in a bottle or by running away."

He agreed. He's dumb. She then laughed. How could she joke about something so true! She went on about 'oh, you can't save everyone'. She mistook it, but he couldn't blame her. As far as she knew, Ishi was just a doctor who let people die. Maybe it's better that way. Maybe she should never learn about his past, maybe that's the best.

To save face however, Ishi'd put his hand on the back of head and scratch; letting out a little laugh.

"Yknow, you might be right."

Maybe he should take his own advice and down more of those pills.

Nah; that'd be ineffective. Blasted healing factor saving his life even when he doesn't want it to. Truly a struggle. One that he hoped no one else would have to deal with. At least when others shot themselves; they didn't just heal the hole in their head. They just sorta died. It was not something that Ishi was allowed.

"Say; you want to go get some grub? I'll pay. It'll be better to deal with that, than go home and deal with the whole alcoholism thing."

"I know I'm right." Valerie looked around at the street surrounding her to get a bearing on their surroundings and get a good idea of how far they had left to go. All things considered, they had managed to make some decent distance by now, even with Ishi running away to try to escape earlier.

Not that it mattered now, but they probably could have gotten a lot farther by now if they'd taken a taxi. Oh well.

"I should be able to pay for myself just fine. Now, the thing is, you wouldn't need to deal with the alcoholism thing anyway if it wasn't there anymore."

Val blinked a bit to put a little additional weight onto her suggestion. She wasn't a fan of coping mechanisms, as it felt similar to running away from the problem in her eyes. It was much better for his mental health to just face the issues head on and deal with them properly, as opposed to festering beneath a pool of liquor.

She wasn't wrong persay. If it weren't there; he wouldn't have to pay for it. But; if it weren't there, he'd fester under enough guilt to make a grown man cry. In fact, that guilt does make a grown my cry. That grown man is Ishi. It's what predates most of the funnier nights of drug induced ectacy. No one ever questions why a doctor buys herbs. It's obviously to make medicine. It's just that no one knows where it goes.

Enough about feeling sorry for himself. He had to respond to the girl who obviously cared. What a trial that was, caring about him. Not even he did it.

"You're not wrong. Problem is, it's not like it's a habit I can easily kick."

He'd bring out his scroll to look for food places around. He saw a place that sold Fruit-Fish, something he though alright. He would have to suggest it; though he wasn't sure Valerie would like it.

"There's a place nearby that sells Fruit Fish, want to go there?"

Valerie shrugged, feeling oddly civilian for a small while as she thought on her living expenses and styles herself. "No addiction is."

She thought about her trips to the store every week and a half. "I don't care what it is. If push comes to shove, I can just cook the salamander cuts I got for the week back at my room. They're the cheapest thing I can find since no one thinks that they're easy to cook. It's best left to trial and error, but after a few weeks I found the best way to prepare, cook, and season it. I wrote it down too so I'd never forget it. It's really not as bad as people think."

The kitchen she had to work with was lackluster however, as she did have to share it with others. Often times, the tools were damaged or in a questionable state of some kind or another. "I really need to get an apartment of my own. Living on campus is free, but I think I would do better in the city, especially since most of my calls are around here. Then I don't have to hitch a ship down off the friggin mountain in the middle of the night afters speed-changing out of my pajamas."

Ishi had to laugh. He, like once, had to share a room. It was for like three days, and he murdered the person. But it was a thing. He remembered those three days fondly. If he were to be honest, he'd probably pay his entire fortune to get those moments back. But that was the past. He'd put his scroll away; and motion for Valerie to follow.

"I'm out of touch with the younger people these days. What's a dorm room even like? I should get people to live with me. It's lonely in that mansion without anyone."

That last sentence was tinged with sadness; although not that he meant for it to be so. The fact was that, despite his ugly mug and terrible personality, he was a rich boy who liked to flaunt his money. Surely that'd at least get a gold digger to come. Not even that can bring them in when your personality is terrible enough.

It's truly a sad thing, but not enough for Ishi to be truly hurt.

"I wish that I could say that I interact with people that much."

Valerie taps her finger against her chin as she thinks of a way to best describe it to someone that may not have much to reference it to. "It's about as big as your classroom, if your classroom only encompassed the area from the front wall to the front desks. Oh, and only about halfway from the door to the opposite wall. I have a single, so It's basically just my bed and a small desk in there. I share my bathroom and showers with about 30 other girls since I'm not in the team dorms."

She thought about other details that would be able to give context to the situation. "My options for eating are to go to the cafeteria and get the premade food there, or I can go to the dorm kitchen and use subpar utensils to cook my own. Laundry is a hassle too. I have to go down multiple flights of stairs to use the machines and they still charge me lien to use them."

Valerie scruffs her hair in frustration before rationalizing, "If nothing else, I want my own place for the laundry, kitchen, and showers. I could sleep on the floor for all I care."

Eventually, she straightened up and fixed her hair, smiling as she teased him. "Well, if that's an offer to stay with you, then how rude would it be for me to decline."

Ishi came to a whole stop. Man was half way down on a step; and stopped for a second. Then he finished the step and wasn't sure how to respond. On one hand; he was really lonely and needed someone to talk to in the morning. On the other hand, Valerie was a student. This would make big old scandals. He knew it was a tease; but an offer nonetheless. Well, a backwards offer. But one none the less.

"I'm willing to house you. Just like, talk to me in the morning and stuff."

Ishi would continue walking as if nothing was said. He noted that the previous situation was garbage; and he felt like he needed to spend like, half his fortune improving that. But until then, maybe just maybe he wouldn't wake up drunk. Drunk and upside down hanging off his couch. That was always a pain to clean up. It's always good that he had all the time. Class for like two hours before running off.

Now that.... was.... unexpected.

Val had just been joking around to keep the tone light so that they could stop focusing on the sadness of working with the dead and dying so often. Yet here they were, in a completely new situation that Valerie did not even consider as a possibility for what was going to happen when she got out of her bed this morning. It almost felt a bit awkward in reality, and yet...

No. This was a mansion that they were talking about. She had no right to accept that kind of life. She didn't deserve it.... But still...

Valerie had dedicated her life to saving the lives of others. It was a decision that she had made some years back. It was because of this that she thought of this as an experience to take into consideration. In fact, the more that she thought about the way that he had been acting and the way that she had been thinking recently, the more that she realized that they were both showing some worrying traits in themselves. So maybe...

"Um.... Can you accomodate a puppy?"

"I can make that puppy have it's own room the size of most dorm rooms."

He spoke confidently. For once. He would scratch the back of his head.

"If that's what you want anyway. I'm not good at this whole person to person thing."

Most of the people he had dealt with died. Or hated him. Or both. It was a split down the middle. He shook his head at his thoughts. There was no reason to be so depressing when he just got a possible housemate that he'd end up talking to maybe. They came upon the restaurant. He'd go to the door first and hold it open for Valerie. He was a gentleman obviously; not to mention it's the least he could do. She was giving him someone to talk to at three in the morning.

Once inside however, he'd slump back down. He wasn't happy enough to not slouch. Only for a moment.

"So, what's your plan?"

Valerie laughed to shake off the tension. "I don't think that would be necessary, but thanks."

Val didn't quite walk into the building for a moment. First, she peered around the general area of the door as well as skimming the front of the restaurant for a sign. She wanted to make sure that the restaurant didn't have any postage that disallowed faunus from entering. Bellmuse was a pretty progressive place to live when you got down to it, but sometimes the majority doesn't extend to the hearts and minds of individuals. It was easy to be hateful on one's own property, that was why business-owners often seemed the most bigoted from Val's perspective.

Upon finding no direct statement that she was going to be ejected if she tried to enter, she walked in, smiling and nodding at Ishi as she walked in.

"Well, more than likely I was going to probably start with a standard entree with some water." She said, knowing that wasn't what he was referring to when he asked about her 'plan'.

"I didn't know you liked fish. The more ya know."

He watched this person; that actually looked at him like a human. Hard to believe such a thing exists. He didn't even look at himself like a human.

Now wait! You just said not to be sad! Why are you sad?

It's probably because he's a sad human. BUT NOT THIS HOUR!

He put on a big 'ol smile. One he often didn't have on his face because let's be honest, he's Ishi. He doesn't be happy. They'd move forward in line and arrive shortly after. He couldn't be taken serious. Once he got to the counter, he'd start humaning.

"Hey, let me get a Fruit Fish. And uh, whatever this lady wants." He'd point to Valerie shortly after. He'd wait for her to get her food ordered and stuff. Or something. He wasn't an expert. He just ate a lot of pizza usually. Didn't need human interaction.

Valerie crossed her fingers together as she walked past him, noting in a sidelong fashion, "And I was unaware that you were one to have desserts in the midst of an autumn afternoon. Such are things that come to be I suppose."

She approached the counter and laid her hands down against it, fingers still locked and as she looked up toward the attendant warmly. She regarded the establishment that they were in and took a moment to consider what she wanted to eat, while still attempting to be courteous and keep the bill low on her own end.

"I'll have the crusted parmesean tilapia served with florets. Only a water to drink please. Thank you very much."

Valerie nodded her head in something akin to a farewell motion as she turned back to Ishi. "Perhaps your diet could also be a source of strain. If nothing else, are you regularly exercising to counteract eating this way?"

"Don't you know? Walking with the weight of my sins is easy exercise. Plus; I had my meal. Copious amount of booze and bar peanuts"

Ishi spoke this casually, as if it weren't real. Something truly magical that this situation was. Two sociopathic medics standing around a place. Just sorta existing. It's an alright time. . He also denoted that for such a person, it's so mean to say he's both fat and nonathletic. One at a time would've been nice. At least then he'd have had time to recover his heart from the barrage of insults.

"Plus, we gotta get sat down and get ready to eat. It'll be an easy enough bill to pay when time comes. I need a venue to spend my money. I can't just keep buying mansions."

He'd go off to a table in the middle of the place. Cause of the wings. He was nice like that.

"Not looking like it's enough if you ask me." Valerie mumbles just loud enough for him to hear her as she sits at her seat. She crosses one leg over the other and tucks her wings in close to her back, now able to feel both sides of her chair.

She put her hand against the edge of the table while the other one was in her lap. The hand on the table began to wrap against it slowly, her nails making a steady click each and every time that one of them made contact with the wood.

The hand in her lap soon left it in order to gesture in a matter-of-fact manner to go along with the coming statement. "Well, if you want your money to go towards something worthwhile, maybe try to start making a list of adequate hobbies or pastimes. I mean, what do you even have in your home to spend your time on? Not to mention how you keep talking about how you don't get enough social interaction. You could buy a membership to a club or something, find some people to talk to or services that would allow you to communicate with people."

He couldn't be bothered before this point. However, that mumbling hurt his soul. If he couldn't look half-decent to a person he wasn't trying to seduce, how was he going to look like it to someone who he wanted to seduce? Truly something that plagued the mind of Ishi; who'd listen to Valerie and continue to ponder.

"I mean. What if I just...I duunno. Bought the club?"

This might surprise people, but Ishi's only rich because he's quite capable. He was a prodigy level doctor; but more importantly, he was able to stand up to criticism and manage his practice. That, combined with his ability to kill people, made him a very rich man, very early in life.

"Ah; that's not the point. Hmm. Perhaps I should go to some place here and get like, I dunno, some variation of membership at the most expensive gym. They'd probably have the best equipment right? Ah, but what if I just made a gym and bought all the equipment of my own?"

Ishi's thought process was simple. If he should put his money towards something worthwhile; maybe he should just like, make a really good gym for people to go to for free. No membership, only swole. The way Ishi sat made it obvious that he was thinking; his learning forward and general perplexed face.

Valerie checked her nails for a brief moment before looking back up. Her legs did not move from their crossed position as she thought on what he had said.

"One would have to meet certain safety requirements in order to open up their own gym and training center. Even if it were a community center and anyone could use it, it would need to be staffed whenever it was open by trained management and supervisors to make sure their were no incidents. Any incidents that did occur regardless would come back to you as the owner. Between the purchase, tax, staff, safety certifications, and maintenance alone, you would be dealing with so much paperwork that you wouldn't have the opportunity to even use your own facilities. In short, even without having to manage income over losses, owning something like a gym would eat all of your freetime and confine you to a desk during that freetime."

She spoke rather nonchalantly about the whole thing. "But if that's what you feel like doing, more power to you. I think it would be good for the community after all." Val finished her statement with a smile.

He listened to the girl, who was obviously far more smart than he, as they went on and on. He understood all that. He didn't care about it. He'd deal with each step as time came. If it were up to him; he'd just pay everyone off. But, that wasn't what this girl wanted to hear. He thinks that she wants the good for him, which confuses Ishi more than successful women.

"Why not? What's the worst that happens? I go down in a scandal unmet in scale? That could be worse."

Ishi laughed at his own comment. He was entirely serious, but he didn't have to act all serious. There was a dreadful different that most people didn't underestimate.

"No matter what; I need something to do that isn't drinking. Dealing with them kids is exasperating. ONE EVEN SLAPPED ME. WHILE I WAS IN A COMA."

Ishi, in his lab coat and general anguish, was still a rich investor typically. Who knows? Maybe he'll spawn this into a nice business that gets money via sponsors to get better equipment! Ah, either way. He decided to sink money into it, be it success or failure.

"As I said, more power to you. I only hoped to ensure that you understood the workload that you'd be placing upon yourself in the event of such action." Valerie spoke as she reached forward and grabbed her glass of water. She took a long drink after having walked in for several blocks to get here from the bar. Her drinking was slow and quiet, and she set the glass forward on the table with seemingly practiced measure.

She listened to him speak as she smiled and nodded at certain points to show that she was still paying attention to him. "Oh my. That seems like something mildly concerning on the front of the mental stability of the student. Maybe a report would do some good to get that worked out. I heard that we got a new counselor recently, so maybe she could help them some."

Valerie couldn't help but look out the windows and see the blue leaves of the Finnek trees blowing past in the wind. The Autumn cool drawing them down from their wooden home and to the ground to rot and the cycle to begin anew. As much as she enjoyed the temperate air, she enjoyed Autumn mostly as a precursor to Winter. Val enjoyed the snow and the playing of the children every year, it made her think of the happiness people could feel.

"Nah, nah. I dealt with them with some keen words. It'll teach them to slap a man in a medically induced nap."

Ishi took a deep breath. He saw their food come in and get placed in front of them. He smelt the dessert that was sat in front of him, and was pleased. He liked this. Sitting across from someone who didn't hate him, it was a pretty good time. One could even say that he could stay like this forever and be happy. That was probably the fact that the mans worse enemy was himself, but that wasn't to say anything.

He let the meal sit for a moment though while pondering and then continuing talking.

"I wonder if I've ever been a good teacher. Probably. I've spawned like, 2 decent medics. Most kids who come already have copious experience so.."

There was a deep sigh that would follow these words, as he'd start to eat his lovely dessert. Ah, it was delicious. This situation was lovely, and he hoped nothing would happen to make it go terrible.

Valerie picked up the fork and poked at her tilapia experimentally for a brief moment before truly cutting a chunk from her meal and spearing it on the fork and into her mouth. As was expected, the textures from the crust and the meat of the fish are entirely complementary, however, not unpleasant. The parmesean, though faint, is distinct when compared to the oceanic flavor of the tilapia.

It was nice, and the florets were.... well... florets. There was nothing truly special to be noted about them, as Val was much more interested in the conversation than the food at this point. Though his most recent words prompted her to set her cutlery down on the table.

"Professor." She paused as she rose a hand up to move a lock of her hair from her face. "I'd never have known how much the death of my teammates have been weighing on me over this past year if not for your class on loss of patients. If not for that, it would have simply festered in my psyche until it reached a boiling point. I severely doubt that I would still be a student of the academy if I'd not been forced to face it."

Valerie stared at Ishi blankly for a long moment before blinking and reaching down to her fork to continue eating her meal.

He did no such thing. How dare she. He shifted in his chair; getting praise of any sort tended to make him uncomfortable. He was not a man who got much praise. In fact, even as a doctor, he mostly got aghast looks. Typically because he worked the E.R., most of the people who existed there were stressed. It was a manner of work he was quite good at doing.

Other than shifting in his chair; he was pretty much signless that he was uncomfortable.

"No such thing. You're a strong lass who would very easily been able to do things properly."

He was one to give out compliments when needed though and he was maybe right in thinking that it was needed. He wasn't entirely sure, mainly because he didn't know how to human. He knew how to murder. That's not much else though. Murder is what he was good at. Healing too. Not much else though.

Val continued to eat her food as though no conversation were being had, aside from the occassional poking her food instead of eating to make space for herself to speak.

"No, not exactly. Not sure if you've seen my psych portfolio or anything." She pops a bit of fish into her mouth before breaking into a shrug. "But uh... I've got a bit of a temper problem that erupts during periods of stress.... Not gonna lie, I was feeling quite a bit stressed before I had dealt with all that... 'trauma'... I guess. But after that, I've been feeling a bit more at ease."

A bit was really quite subjective in her case. Perhaps the feelings regarding her old teammates were much less prominent in recent days, but her repeated failures have been reminding her of all the other deaths that she's been the cause of. It stung every time she closed her eyes, because she saw them. The faces in the abyss that she was forced to stare at as she drifted to sleep.

The worst of it all was the way that they seemed to stare back.

Hmm. Temper problem during stress as a medic? That's hardly how this worked. You had to stay calm, but then again, if the opponent died you didn't have to heal the people. He wasn't the kind of person that liked to murder people. Well, not anymore. He used to be a big fan. He tended to murder at least once a month. That's what was fun. If it were down to him; he'd have never done any of that murder.

Though, if he hadn't murdered, how was he supposed to be rich?

"You'll never get rid of that whole anger thing. It'll probably stick with ya."

Ishi knew that if he spoke anything more, then he'd be a strange fella. He also knew that if he pretended to know much more that it'd be a useless thing to pretend. Yet, he couldn't help but feeling sorry for the girl. He got the concept.

"Believe me, I know."